Tag: grandmother

The one person that comes to my mind when writing this is my grandmother. Her name was Joan. When trying to recall my first memory of meeting her, I can’t think of what that might have looked like. All I know is; in that moment we were friends. I can’t think of a time when I went without my grandmother; well, that was until her passing. While writing this, I’m thinking about how she was as a person; strong, courageous, untouched, such an amazing woman. One time she wrote me a letter on the back of her pictures when she was younger. She wrote about how she was so proud of me and how she loved me so much. I can’t remember word for word, but due to a roof leak at my parents’ house, the picture was destroyed. Before she passed, I asked her to write me another letter… I never got it.

In my early 20s, I remember living with my grandmother. I lived in a house directly across from where I grew up, on the water. I loved living at my grandmother’s despite all the negative feedback from my brothers and cousins saying I needed to move out of my grandmother’s house and get my own place. The thing was; I didn’t want to, and she didn’t want to. We were known to each other as “The Golden Girls.” On a day-to-day basis, we would hang out, shop, and talk about men. It was a really special relationship. This could have been my friend for a lifetime, and for a moment she was. My grandmother told me that she would trust me with all medical decisions at one point.

I felt that I was at risk of getting too close. I knew that I was growing older and, well, she was as well. I remember that I would work many hours, and she would tell me constantly, “You’re burning the candle at both ends.” And when I think of this saying today, that was our friendship. One side was burning more quickly than the other. I was in a race against time. Time, as we know it, is never on your side. So naturally, I thought it was best to separate myself; and I did. I took the advice of my family and went on to get my own place. I remember the first day I moved out; you wrote me this:

”To my “Golden Girl”. I love you and will miss you. I hope everything goes good for you because, you deserve it. Just be safe and don’t take any wooden nickels, always watch your back and remember we are always here for you. I wont be home tomorrow so take care and god speed”

Days before she died, I was sitting next to her watching the “Golden Girls” on the sofa. She asked me, “What are you going to do without me?” and in reply, I simply said… miss you every day. She passed away five days later. And I miss her every day.

I am getting married in two weeks, and it’s going to be a moment I am sure I will think of my grandmother. I am going to remember everything she taught me and live my life through her values. That’s the best that I can do: to not let her down and not accept any wooden nickels.